On Letters
by fiologica
Summary: A study of handwriting in the Discworld.


**On Letters**

_A Study of Handwriting in the Discworld_

\- o -

Of course Susan Sto Helit learned to write the famously fancy and flourishing hand of copperplate. For a Duchess, nothing else will do. There was homework, practising by copying passages from General Tacticus. Tests were administered, and young Susan learned to identify the slightest flaw, to avoid any accidental spilling of her personality into her writing. It had to be _just so_. All so that nothing would or could possibly be read into her letters. All to keep the peace. All to avoid a war. For a Duchess, nothing else will do.

(It was a surprise for Susan to learn that her own grandfather also possesses the skill of writing in copperplate. One would think that lacking the vital muscles that allow for writing to happen at all would make it rather difficult, and yet, his notes on The Duty are considered, clear, and concise.)

Havelock Vetinari also learned to scribe the neatest and yet nondescript copperplate possible. A vital skill for an assassin: leave no trace of oneself, even in handwriting. There was safety in such clear, concise, and careful lettering. Such a note could not be traced back to the one who left it.

The dark clerks of the Patrician's Palace, and indeed, Drumknott himself, all carry the same skill. In the service of their master, one must not betray themselves. They are neither seen, nor heard. So it is that their handwriting hides them as surely as their black outfits, their silent footfalls masking their gait, disguising all distinguishing details.

Mr. Slant is accomplished in copperplate. An extensive education saw to that. Yet, it is not his first choice for legal documents. In drafting formal agreements, recording precedents, writing amicus briefs, and in the general service of the law, legibility matters. Textura, with its sharp ascenders and clean lines, allows for greater precision. In the courtroom, shorthand has its merits: speed for quickly taken notes, smaller lettering so as not to waste paper. Only a trained clerk or colleague can decipher it, but it serves the purpose of guarding the law from those outside of the profession. Mr. Slant has no quibble with its use, that being the case.

Moist von Lipwig has learned many different types of handwriting, from the most lowly and hastily scribbled scrawl, to the most meticulous and carefully crafted copperplate. Anything that will aid a man of many names and countless faces. Blackletter presents no difficulty. Shorthand has the appearance of random squiggles to all but those with the skill to read it. Lipwig no longer knows what his default handwriting should look like; he chooses his script for the situation, for his audience. It is a hard habit to break.

Most golems blockprint in capital letters. Chalk and slate aren't good mediums for fancy handwriting. Even those granted a voice still bear the ability to write, however. After all, words in the heart cannot be taken, and the skill of writing cannot be erased even when all is said and done.

There is no standard writing style in the Watch. Samuel Vimes defaults to capital letters. It's easier to read, and in those times when he must write notes to himself, that is all that matters. He knows how to use cursive – the teachers at the Dame school rapped his knuckles until the ability was firmly rooted – and he grudgingly uses it when he has to write reports for Lord Vetinari.

Carrot's handwriting is like a spider jumped into an inkpot and danced across the page. It _is_ legible, but only just. Wanton cruelty to the common comma, the only vice to which Carrot is susceptible, can certainly make his phrasing… _interesting_.

Nobby's script isn't much better. Fred Colon has, it seems, tried to impart some wisdom on the matter. The occasional moments when the Sergeant has gotten impatient with the younger man's nigh unreadable reports lead to instances of Fred carefully demonstrating the formation of letters. Nobby's ability to replicate them is haphazard at best. His handwriting, over time, has taken on some of the character of the elder watchman's, though.

Angua is one of the few copperplate writers in the Watch. Having a noble family tends to do that. It could almost be considered infectious, were it not for the fact that it has to be taught. In that way, it is entirely unlike being a werewolf or a vampire.

For those coming from the major guilds, chancery script is the hand of choice. Cheery favours such a style of handwriting. It is easy to write, and easy to teach, and often used in business agreements, although it can become illegible in the wrong hands.

Constable Visit has a highly disciplined blackletter hand. It is precise, measured, and painstakingly tidy. Never has such devotion and attention to detail been visited upon reports to Commander Vimes. The Igors likewise favour this script, because _of course they do_, and it is practically expected of them. One cannot serve an eccentric master of an old house or castle without this crucial ability. It is almost as iconic as the Igor lisp.

Despite his shape and species, the Librarian of Unseen University has surprisingly neat and careful handwriting. It is rounded, with attention to spaces between lettering and words. It could almost be called uniform. Yet, it makes maintaining library records easier – much as in law, legibility is everything to a librarian. Teaching Rincewind to use it was almost a relief for both of them: in magic, strange things can happen when more fussy and old-fashioned writing styles are used. After enough excitement for a lifetime in a very short space of life-time, Rincewind prefers to play it safe with clear and legible handwriting. The Librarian naturally insists that any strange things should not happen in _his_ library. They make a good team, this being the case.

The rest of the wizards still insist upon using blackletter. Some of the older wizards still use court hand. It causes no end of grief to researchers who discover that it is also very nearly illegible. Ponder is the only other wizard who prefers the Librarian's style.

Out in the Ramtops, the ability to write at all is not a priority. Yet, Granny Weatherwax at least has a clear and legible style. In her earliest days as a witch, she may or may not have learned her letters from a more senior witch. Nanny, on the other hand, has a cheerful scrawl that is only just readable, and even then, only because the lettering is so large. Tiffany, however, favours a roundhand style, for its tidy appearance and legibility. Itinerant tutors honed that skill, along with long rainy afternoons at home, the almanac open in front of her as she copied passages for practice. Miss Tick certainly approved.

Whether the Feegles and their Big Man, Rob Anybody, will adopt any particular style remains to be seen.


End file.
